The dictionary defines insecurity as “being unsure, unstable, shaky, apprehensive, or lacking in self-confidence”.

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, the first definition of the word insecure is: “Not secure.”

We all have insecurities. But the sad fact is that these insecurities sabotage your happiness.
Take a look:

1. Constant comparison

We’ve all done it: Pretended to be snoozing on the beach when in fact, we were staring at another woman’s enviable thigh-gap, behind the dark lenses of our sunglasses.

When we’re insecure we end up constantly comparing ourselves with others. We use others to measure our own worth, beauty and success. Sadly, this constant comparison simply leads to further insecurity. That’s a very tricky vicious cycle.

2. Compliment rejection

When we’re insecure we usually don’t accept compliments. Sure, we say ‘thank you’ when we receive one, but we never really believe the compliment, absorb it’s powerful message. We tend to think that the person giving the compliment is just being polite. Shame.

3. People pleasing doormat

Let me ask you a question: If we are secure and if we know who we are, will we be affected by what other people say, do or think? Probably not.

And, vice versa, if we are insecure we usually try really hard to please everyone because we have a need to be accepted. Insecurity and people pleasing go hand in hand, turning the insecure into a people pleaser.

It also means we struggle to say ‘no’, lest we cause offence. And we quickly turn into doormat.

4. Defensive grouch

Insecurity breeds defensiveness, too. When we’re insecure, we tell ourselves that every comment or remark is a personal attack. We leave no room for people to invest in our lives. It’s not surprising that we stop forming relationships, because nobody enjoys being around a defensive person (who’s sceptical of them all the time!).

Defensiveness also prevents us from learning and developing, since new knowledge is threatening. Essentially we can miss out on life if we’re overly defensive (eek!).

5. Belief in crazy social media trends

We bet you’ve heard about the bikini bridge, thigh gap and the finger trap test (go on, google them if you don’t know). These social media memes are not as harmless or humorous as we’d like them to be. Because many women buy into the body images (and standards of beauty) represented by these memes. And this can develop into more serious psychological issues such as body image disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, eating disorders, and more.

If we’re insecure we not only believe these ridiculous social media trends we actually allow them to define us.